Ramblings

Nothing profound tonight. Just where I am, my thoughts rolling through my head.

Only because of God can I find peace in the midst of so much.

*The end of a year. Telling little ones goodbye after giving them all I know. It is always hard even when I begged for the year to be over when it had just begun.

*Celebrating new life in the midst of life hanging on by God's sovereignty. Holding a new born is such amazing joy. So is watching life come to a place of real life, what is important.

*Still in the midst of infertility after so long and having peace. I would rather be holding new life in my arms tonight. I would rather hear a little one call out my name in the late hours. I would give so much to see what my love and I create. BUT when life is barely holding on you realize what you have is great and full. Having a child isn't everything. It would be amazing but it doesn't complete or fill the void.

*Wanting to help others but not knowing how. I say the wrong words. I am sure I do the wrong things. Sometimes I would love to just shake them hoping to knock sense into them. BUT realizing you have been there at one time. Lost, helpless, desperate. I am not sure I can give anymore.

*Loving your husband so much but pushing him away all at the same time. How can he make it all right?

*Smiling when you want to cry.

*Pretending the world is as perfect as it will ever get.

Please no comments about how sorry you are, thinking of you, OR you amaze me. I would love to hear your ramblings though. Is your head full of them like mine?

I NEVER do this. I blog and don't even look at the numbers or dates. No blog birthdays or anything but when I logged on I saw my last post was 399. How fitting for my rambles to get a big number like 400.