The Memories

Lately the memories have been coming in a flood.

I remember ...

rubbing my belly.

the clothes I wore.

my trips and conversations about our little one.

the night I didn't feel well far from home.

the day I began to crave sweets again.

when I always needed a nap and this one day I wasn't even tired.

when we were so excited about seeing our baby again but I began to have that mother worried feeling.

I will NEVER forget...

the silence in the room when we didn't see the flicker of life.

the look on my doctors face.

feeling like I was underwater and in slow motion as my doctor explained that our baby was gone.

trying to stay in control and begging Grumps not to touch me.

walking out of the exam room and watching the faces of the other nurses and doctors. Seeing tears in their eyes and feeling their hugs and kind words.

not being able to speak or talk or think.

hoping for a miracle.

crying late at night.

wanting to all be over but wanting to never forget our little one.

how my friends rallied around us with amazing support.