Monday, October 23, 2006

Home

I stayed home today from work. I am a teacher and that is a hard task to do. But I knew that I just wouldn't make it.

I wasn't feeling well but not just physically. I fell the fake mask crumbling. I feel myself falling quickly apart.

I talked with friends today. It is therapy for me. But I still have a heavy heart.

I actually shed a few tears today. I usually tear up when I talk to people. I tear up when I am in public but in private I am dry. It felt good to just cry a bit.

I cried to God. I told Him how I was so tired. I was tired of trying. I wasn't even sure I want a child anymore. We all know that I do but... The burden is too heavy these days. I would love to take a break from it all. I would love to put my thermometer back in the drawer but the fact that my endometriosis grows more and more with each cycle, it really makes me afraid.

I am just thankful that I took time for me today. I am feeling better. I really am.

*I am still not caught up with all my tv though. :)

3 comments:

snapshots said...

Good for you! So thankful that today is helpful...that you could shed a few tears and spend some alone time with God. I know how hard it is to stay away from work. You did right. Love you!

GLouise said...

Glad you could get a little time away... Hang in there, sweetie.

Big Pissy said...

Good for you! Most people won't take a break when they need it and then things just get worse. :(

Take care!

{{{hugs}}}