Sharing with Kids

Everyone and their brother knows we are pregnant. It has been fun sharing. But I had been keeping it a secret from my class of second graders. I wanted to wait to tell them after my big u/s. As the days went by I realized it was getting harder to do.

Students: Are you having a baby?
Me: Why?
Students: I don't know. Are you?
Me: I don't know. Am I?

Look of fright not knowing how to answer that.

Students: I don't know... silence.

Grumps said I was being mean keeping it a secret when they know something is going on. So I shared with them last week. They were and still are so cute about it.

Me: Have you guys noticed anything different about me lately?
Students: Ummm you are calmer.
(That would be me being tired. HA!~)
Students: You are more strict.
(hormones and me being tired.)
Me: How about how I look? Do I look fatter?
Students: YES and you are eating SO MUCH!

Now it gets to the part where hands go up everywhere. Some have huge grins on their faces. They have figured out the secret and just needed me to confirm it.

Student: YOU ARE PREGNANT!

Cheers go up all around the room.

Me: Yes and with twins.

They couldn't contain themselves. They had to touch my belly and ask questions. We talked about everything that was appropriate and even some things that weren't. Dead babies even came up. My little ones will know way more about being pregnant than most. One girl tried to explain how the babies lived in a bubble. The next day I showed them a picture of both the babies together. The first words were, IT IS A BUBBLE!

They check on my eating, making sure I am being healthy. I hold their little hands so still on my belly. They are in shock at how hard it is. They also look every day to see if it is growing. It really is so sweet.

Now I can't wait to share with them what we are having. They are already starting a list of possible names. HA!

Out of Kids' Mouths

The cutest little girl ran up to me today and gave me a big hug. She pulled back and looked at me. Before she turned away she said...

"That dress sure makes you look pregnant!"

Their honesty is brutal!

Home and Fluffy

We have been back from our vacation for a few days now. We had a wonderful time. Grumps worked hard to plan a wonderful trip full of good food and great places to rest our heads. We reconnected in just being together. Life couldn't get in the way.

Now being back home the ivf and back to school countdown has begun. It looks like both will be right there with each other. I am praying my body doesn't take too long to respond. I can't miss the first day of school. I really can't miss any days of the first week. It all has to just run VERY smoothly. I am laughing though deep inside. When do things run smoothly for me? Of course my retrieval would be on the open house day. Of course my transfer could be the first day of school. That is how my world works.

My other 'issue'... raise your hand if treatments have caused you to gain weight. A lot? I am out of control large. It makes me sad. My boobs are HUGE! My body just feeds on these drugs. I am at the point I could rest my chin on my girls. I can't do a thing about any of it until I am done with these stupid drugs. Please tell me I am not the only one? PLEASE!!!!

The word has been spread to the mouths of my school. I might look pregnant but I am for sure not. They have my permission to tell everyone.

So I am serious about my question. Did you gain weight? How much in total? Did your body love the drugs? I don't want to hear about how thin you were through it all. I don't want to hear about how you exercised and ate healthy. Now it is time to chime in!!!

Twiddling My Thumbs

I should be at work today. Everyone else woke up griping about spring break being over. Everyone dreaded seeing the kids. Here I sit, in bed, planning my day, trying not to over think.

I called last week and got my leave of absence taken care of. Making that call was so sad. Having to verbalize what was going on to a stranger wasn't fun. I also went to work to get things in order on Friday. I had all these intentions. I barely could breathe. Poor Grumps watched me run around with my head cut off. I left it all for my team to take care of. I feel awful.

My mom is having more tests run today at the cancer hospital. We will get more answers on Friday. I got more information about her physical state and the cancer yesterday. It continues to break my heart. There hasn't been a day I haven't cried.

I am holding onto faith. God is in the middle of it all.

________________________________________

Last night I triggered, or should I say Grumps did. He did a great job considering he was scared to death. I caught the spear action he took on me from the corner of my eye. I freaked just a bit. I am sore today. We go in for retrieval tomorrow morning. I fly out to my family Wednesday afternoon.

I cannot thank you enough for your strength through your comments and emails. I feel surrounded by all of you.

Just Shoot Me!

Man I hate how long I have left you all hanging. Like you wait for every update! I have been so busy with work, shots in the belly, monitoring, and SICK that blogging has been on the back burner. Actually, I have wanted to blog so bad but by the time I get into bed with my laptop (Oh so romantic) all I want to do is check my email and watch tv.

Today was one of my worst days teaching in a good chunk of time. I have sent 2 kids to the office in the past 2 days. That is more than my entire 9 years of teaching. I am at a loss for the behavior in my classroom. Of course the mom of one of the kids thinks I suck so she wants a conference with the assistant principal, counselor and me. Thank God I have kept at least the counselor involved in all of this. I wish I could go into more detail but it all just SUCKS being me right now.

Of course my IUI is next week along with the 100th day of school, staff meeting, 2 conferences, GT crap (wanting to use a much harsher word), and stupid Valentines day. I am sure there is something else mixed in with all of that. Oh maybe it is Grumps working Vday evening due to the 'timing' of our IUI.

Well being a teacher is a joy, can't you tell? Seriously if you want my job IT IS YOURS! On top of the behavior issues I get a conversation of THIS at least once a week. Enjoy!

*Mrs. Grumps are you going to lay a baby? (yep you heard me, lay a baby! There are 10 pregos at work. My kids are obsessed!)

*I laugh and say, NOPE, no laying a baby here!

*Then my obnoxious kid asks how long I have been married.

*10 years.

*He replies with, "MY GOSH you should have had a baby by now. What is the problem? When are you going to have a baby?!

*My reply, after dealing with parents and sending kids to the office, "When God gives me my miralce." (I don't care if I say 'God' in a public school. In fact one of the kids was like, "Oh my gosh she said 'god!' Oooooooo)

*Then one girl, who I was going to say was sweet but in fact is a brat said, "Guys, even if God doesn't give her a baby, at least she has Itsy to love her. She is like her child."

My friend is listening to all of this flabbergasted. Her heart is broken and just doesn't know what to say. All I can do is laugh at the sweetness of children. The world is not only NOT seen in race but also not in IF terms with children!

I haven't forgotten about my stupid people post! It will come!

Sorry if this doesn't make any sense. I have enjoyed my night being PISSED in my beer with my good friend and Grumps! Fat food and drinks RULE!

Tally it Up

I just wanted to add with a LAUGH on this great dreary Friday there are now 10 girls at work pregnant! More than 10% of my staff is pregnant!

I think I need to keep a numbered list on my sidebar with all the preggos in my life. This could get fun! HA!

Not Part of the Club

I couldn't believe my ears on Tuesday. My friend, also pregnant, rushed into the copy room to tell me the news. Another girl at work is pregnant. That would make 8. I asked questions, how far, natural, due date. She rushed off the answers. I was generally happy for the girl. She had been trying for a while. But it still hurt to know I was left behind again and surrounded by 8 bellies!

I took a moment to breathe when the girl strolls into the work room, right up to my friend. The words that came out of her mouth cut like a knife.

I am now part of the club!

My mouth dropped. I tried to smile at her and say "congrats". I am not sure what I actually looked like or said. I am sure the plastered smile on my face looked more like a smile of someone about to vomit.

Then the pictures cropped down before my friend. 8 week pictures. 8 weeks stings for me. I lost my angel to heaven at 8 weeks. My friend was nice, asked questions and moved her along. I stapled papers in silence trying desperately not to cry.

Once the new club member was gone my friend grabbed me and repeated how sorry she was over and over.

I am not part of the club! I can't get those words out of my head. I don't belong with those girls, the 8 girls.

Last night I went to the Casting Crowns concert. The first guy talked about his family and praying for his kids and blessing them. Of course I wasn't part of that club either. As the night went on and was about to end the band members prayed for the crowd. One prayed for the young men. Another prayed for marriages. It got to the young girl and I thought, she is going to pray for the club members. Yep she did, but not the belly/kid kind but the IF/childless kind. She too is struggling and has lost an angel. Tears streamed down my face as I finally didn't feel left out. I knew one of their recent songs had a line about a wife longing for a family. I didn't realize why.

I am better at the end of the week. I am better with my non-membership. I know, my time is coming, according to the rest of the world. I am not sure I like hearing those words. I know they are trying to be helpful but a pat on the arm or a squeeze is enough for me. Maybe I can fake being part of the club and just get fat!

My Favorite Number is Changing

You know when you were a kid you had a favorite number? Mine was 7! Well 17 because the number of my 1st grade classroom. I loved Mrs. Waldrop! But I soon dropped the 1 and left it at 7. I think I need to change it. I don't know, maybe to... 20! or back to 17!

The reason....

There are now 7 preggos at work. YEP 7! CRAP CRAP CRAP! I am surrounded. The best part, they are all due in the same 2 months. SHOOT ME! I might need to die!

Guess when they are all due? Yep right around my due date! YEP KILL ME!!!!

Busy BEE!!! UPDATED!!!

THAT IS ME!!!

School started today. The kids aren't there but school is definitely back in session. I am working so hard to getting my room looking just so. UGH! My summer was just too good to end. SO if I don't post as often or reply to your emails know it isn't because I don't love you. It is because I have to make money some how to live where I live.

I LOVED all the comments on my last couple of posts. I FEEL SO LOVED! If you still haven't added an email to your blog DO IT! I want to reply back through email but can't when you don't help me. Just go to go*gle and get an address just for your blog and comments. There were so many good thoughts out there. I wanted to comment on them!

For my secret deleted post.... I will blog about it again but in a different, non drunk, light. :)

MAN I hate I am back at work. I have a million posts going on in my head. Here is a peak!!!

The great lengths of DTD!

UPDATED!!!!
Meeting bloggers! ( I LOVED MY TIME WITH LJ and MEG!!! *** Edited to say MEL!!! I am so sorry! I owe you a drink. I don't know a Meg. LOL!!!)

and

Never published posts!!!!

Until then, keep it real. HAHAHAHAHAHA!