Sunday, September 06, 2009

The Real Truth

It has been such a long time since I have blogged. I have wanted to blog but my world is... it has been hard.

The babies are totally the easy part. They stick to their little schedules. No crying. Just sleeping, pooping, feeding. The rest of my life has been messed up.

The real truth is, my husband has been having an affair since January. He came clean in April right before I went on bedrest. I kicked him out but he came back quickly wanting to change. Of course I trusted him. After the babies were born and home the truth came out again. He had never stopped seeing her. I kicked him out again. He lived on his own for a month and realized how much he wanted his life to be with me and the babies. I wanted it to work too. He started getting help and I really thought it would work. This past week he started second guessing his decision. Then the truth came out again. He was in contact with her and had been with her. IT IS OVER!

He says he can't live without her. Well I can live without him. My heart breaks for my little ones. He took them last night for two nights. They are playing house now.

Maybe now everything is out in the open I can enjoy blogging again. Who knows... My life will never be the same. 11 years of marriage are gone forever.

31 comments:

LJ said...

SUNNY! Are you fucking kidding? I am gonna come out there and kick him in the nads. Like NOW.

PCOSMama said...

OMG, can I just say that this was a complete and utter shock. I cannot believe that he would do that to you, especially when you were already going through so much!
I'm glad that you can say that you CAN live without him, because that's exactly right. He does not deserve you and as hard as it will be you are better off without him. Focus on those precious babies you worked so hard for, enjoy them, and everything else will fall in place around them. Hang in there Sunny. *HUG*

HereWeGoAJen said...

Grrrrrrrr. I shall be up there immediately to kick him.

I am so sorry that this happened. You and your babies don't deserve this and he doesn't deserve any of you.

I'm sending lots of love your way.

Rachel said...

I am so, so sorry. It sounds like you are doing incredibly well given everything happening around you. Way to go setting clear limits and standing by them. I hope that you have been getting lots and lots of support from your IRL friends, but we'll be thinking of you and sending you strength through the internets.

Rose said...

Him playing house with your babies makes me positively infuriated. I am irate, smoking at the ears.

No one should ever do that to another woman, regardless of the stud involved. Us girls should stick together, it should be like a sisterhood. She should be ashamed of herself for those reasons, as he should be for breaking apart his family.

Monica said...

I ditto LJ's comment!!

Sweet, sweet girl. You are wonderful and amazing and perfect and this is not fair!! You are worth so, so, so much more ....

... love you

I'll be praying for you, your babes ... even him. I think you are very, very brave for telling the truth. You are strong and wise and beautiful.

Christy said...

Oh Sunny, I'm so sorry to hear that you have been going through this, when this should be the most joyful time of your life. Good for you, not only for giving him a second and third chance, but for realizing that you don't need him. Yes, your life will be different, but it will still be wonderful with your precious babes. I hope you feel comfortable enough to keep blogging more often.

FattyPants said...

Omg is this shit real? How could he do this. TWICE? Oh man my heart is just breaking for you and your beautiful children. I will pray that you have enough strength and grace to pull through this and be happier in the end. So much love to you right now.

Cathleen said...

OMG Sunny! I am so sorry! AAARGH! What the HELL is his problem???!! I am soo with LJ...

DD said...

My jaw is slack...I just figured you were on a baby honeymoon.

How could he do this RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR PREGNANCY??! What an a-hole, and that other woman? She deserves to have her ass kicked to. What kind of woman snakes in on a man who is expecting twins after trying so hard to get them? I'm just pissed, and I can't imagine how hurt and angry you are.

Bean said...

Oh Sunny - I am so sorry for you and angry for you. I can't imagine what you are going through. I'm with LJ too. Hugs to you and those babies. You all deserve so much better than that!

Curly said...

Oh Sunny, I'm so sorry. Know that you will survive and you are in my prayers. I wish you were closer so I could just hold you. Love you!

The Fawleys said...

oh Sunny - my heart hurts so much for you. No one should ever be treated this way. I know it won't be easy, but you are the WOMAN!! Love you and will keep praying for you!!!

KE II said...

Oh man, thanks for being so brave and sharing the truth. You don't even realise the strength you are showing. I don't even know what to say. I'll be praying for you.

Lucia said...

I am completely flabbergasted. What an absolute scum bag. I don't even know what else to say because I am so in shock... You do sound like you are doing well, considering. I'm glad your babies are being little angels for you. You don't need anymore stress than you already have. I'll be thinking about you, lots. Hang in there.

Somewhat Ordinary said...

Wow, Sunny, I am so floored right now. You are so right - you can and you will live fine without him.

laura said...

God, Sunny, I'm so sorry. What a mess. I know you guys have had so much stress in your recent years, and I'm sorry it's taken this toll.

I hope you are able to find the joy in each and every day of your life, and in the beautiful children you created together.

Iris said...

Talking on the phone seems so far away, but know that I am always here. Love you tons. Holding you up right now and always.

Jendeis said...

I am so sorry sweetie. What utter crap. You are one of the strongest people I know and you will get through this.

Big Pissy said...

Oh, Sunny.....I was so, SO shocked to read this. I'm so very sorry that this happened to you and your family. Y'all have been through so much....and for this to happen now??? There aren't words to describe how wrong it is.

Thank goodness for your wonderful little babies, your supportive family and friends and your strength.

I admire you.

{{{hugs}}}

Jen said...

oh chickling, what a creep he's shown himself to be. I'm sorry you've been hurt and are hurting hold those bubbas close and know, if nothing else you got the best of him times two.

chezperky said...

Oh, honey. I'm so very sorry. If there's anything I can do to help you, please let me know. I wish I'd known and I'm sorry you've been suffering in silence. I hope you have the support you need.

Lollipop Goldstein said...

Sweetest lady across the bridge (SLAB): I am so fucking sorry. My heart is with you right now. Please let us know what we can do to help.

Shelby said...

Oh Sunny!! I'm soo sorry!! I had no idea, and really want to come over there and smack the shit out of him. I feel for you and your precious babes. Let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do to help!

Hopeful Mother said...

Sunny, I am so sorry to hear what you have been going through. I can not imagine how you are feeling, but know that all of us are thinking about you and I am praying for your strength and healing.

hotlipz said...

Fucking Canadians.

Heather said...

Sunny! You are so courageous to let us know what's going on. I'm sure it is a relief to be able to speak your heart again and to receive the support of your friends who care so much about you.

I hated to hear that after receiving the beautiful blessings of your twins that you will not be able to celebrate it together. He is making such a big mistake and it just hurts my heart so much. I will be praying for you and your little ones. Remember that when you feel the most alone, God is not only with you, but He is carrying you. Lean on Him as much as you can. And let me know if there is anything I can do to help. Love you!

Trish said...

Holy shitballs.
I have no idea what to say except I'm so sorry. So sorry, and so angry and so sorry.

--Trish

Allison said...

Wow. I'm late on this, but I have been "off the blogs" for awhile. Like everyone else, I am incredibly sorry for all you have had to endure while trying to hold your marriage together. You are an awesome person.

Tracy said...

Sunny I am so sorry...for all of it. I feel like I have said it a million times, but you are on my mind and heart a lot not to mention my prayers.

Kathy Garolsky said...

Interesting post.I'll be coming back to see more of your post.Thanks