Monday, December 01, 2008

On the Eve

No words but please God don't let it be like our last pregnancy ultra sound. I can't bare to have another moment of complete silence from the doctor looking for life. I can't have the swimming through water, not being able to breathe moment. I can't have the world standing still, Grumps trying to console and me falling apart. I NEED to see life!

I hate how my world is tainted. I hate how it has been touched with death and wait and uncertainty before. Why can't the world be roses?

I live for a pregnancy sign. I live for feeling sick. I smile when I feel puky. I cheer when I can't eat another bite. No complaining. I need those moments.

Tomorrow I HAVE to see life! God you have to hold me tight. It has to be okay.

14 comments:

Cathleen said...

Hoping and praying with you...

Christy said...

I'll hold you in my thoughts until you post again. Wishing, hoping and praying that you have a wonderful ultrasound.

Leah said...

I'll be wishing, hoping, praying, begging, WILLING everything to go perfectly tomorrow. I'll be holding my breath until I hear from you.

Jen said...

I'll be praying and keeping my fingers crossed. Good luck tomorrow.

Amber said...

I'm praying. I'm calling Grandma right now so she can get the nuns on it too. :) Seriously. Love you, and Grumps too! I'm driving all day tomorrow, so I may be calling D for updates....

Anonymous said...

I will be thinking about you all day today! praying so hard!

Love you..Angela

TeamWinks said...

Thinking of you today.

LJ said...

I am holding my breath with you

Bean said...

Thinking of you, holding my breath, and crossing everything!

Pocohontas said...

I am praying for you today!!! I pray that you will see life growing inside of you.

serenity said...

Thinking of you... I can't wait to hear the good news.

xxx

Meghan said...

Thinking of you and Grumps this morning.

~Laura~ said...

LOVE YOU!!!!!

Rose C said...

I smile as I read this blog :) I was so nervous any day that I didn't feel sick, and was constantly "checking" my boobs for tenderness. I embraced all things morning sickness.
I smile because I totally know.