Tuesday, February 26, 2008

One is the Loniest Number

You have an appointment with your RE for one of your million procedures. Your amazing husband has a job which makes it hard to take time off. You on the other hand have to take the entire day because all 'procedure' appointments are right dab in the middle of the day.

As you walk in you try to be confident with each step. You try not to look at the sea of people. If you do, you will notice you are alone and they are a couple. In my head I wonder what they are thinking about me, coming alone to a big scary office?

My confidence carries me through it all. One is a very lonely number but you have to do what you have to do. There are times my great friends go with me. D really can't anymore. Her belly is too big to hide as not pregnant. So I now go alone.

Today was my mock embryo transfer. I don't think I will ever enjoy someone looking at my girl and putting things in it. A quick wanding is one thing. A stare, push, probe, this and that is NEVER fun! One good thing, all is good and clear. Lupron begins next week. My meds arrive on Saturday. Soon it will be time to get organized!

Do you go to your appointments alone, with a friend or with your 'lover'?

27 comments:

Amy said...

I went to most of the testing appts alone. DH couldn't get off work either. Even the day of transfer, he showed up on his lunch hour to do his thing and then went back. He's got a really crappy job that doesn't allow much flexibility.

niobe said...

In the past, I've always gone to the appointments by myself. I don't really like other people coming with me.

But now....I suppose if there are any appointments in the future, I'll be the one tagging along.

Jen said...

I usually go alone. It's simpler that way and I don't feel like I have to entertain Matt.

Carrie said...

I usually take my husband to the clinic but not into the scan room etc. He really just drives and keeps me company. It does look like I'll have to go for transfer (assuming we get that far) alone. That's freaking me out a bit.
I agree about the mock transfer. These procedures are just so invasive.

DD said...

The only appts Mr. DD would accompany me would be for the ones he HAD to be there for. Taking a 1/2 day off work for one of us was stressful enough...and it seemed pointless for the two of to be in the car for four hours for a 10 minute blood draw and scan, especially when he didn't have to be there. I rarely saw couples in the waiting room.

Fertilize Me said...

i went with appointments alone, with a friend and with my husband. So all of the above. You are in my prayers

Foreverhopeful said...

My hubby came to all my appointments with me and I liked having him with me holding my hand. We were lucky because the clinic was close by and Dh had flexible mornings with his work. Good luck with this next cycle.

The Town Criers said...

Most monitoring are alone. Other stuff, it's hit or miss. But you always know that there are your DC girls who will go with you. Just tell us when you have an appointment that Grumps can't make!

Anonymous said...

You are never alone, Sunny :) The Lord always has hold of your hand and His comforting arms around you. He is carrying you through every step. Praying for His will and the miracle of your little blessing.

Curly said...

Hey Anonymous, that is what I was going to say! Sunny, you are in my prayers.

Alli said...

I went to almost all of my appointments alone, which stunk. My husband could rarely leave work for more than his specific "donation" part of it.

Hope all goes wonderful for you this cycle!

s.e. said...

Hi Sunny, I have been following your blog and hope you don't mind if i comment. I have gone alone unless my husband was needed 100% of the time. It is also work related but every once in a while espeically on weekends I do lash out at him for it. It is hard to see all the hand holding in the waiting room!

Dr. Pepper Rose said...

I got chills when I read this. I really needed a Sunny update! I am so thrilled for you, sweet Sunny. You are in my prayers.
I always went alone too, because Matt couldn't leave his service area. Bummer.

Kim said...

I was alone most of the time too and didn't notice a lot of couples. My hubby had a hard time getting off work too. He did make it for the consultation appointments and of course the ones that only he could do. Good Luck!

gracechild said...

i go alone. It really is faster that way to take a long lunch break. Husband comes when there's a doc appt & he has questions. I like it that way

In and Out of Luck said...

Alone if it is a routine thing, but with dh if we are slated to learn something important. It is lonely going alone, and it contributes to the feeling that everything is just my problem (even if medically it is), but to have him along for monitoring seemed not to make sense.

Pamela Jeanne said...

It would depend on the purpose for the appointment -- but since most of it dealt only with my bod, I went mostly alone.

Just know that we're there with you!

shinejil said...

Sunny, thanks for the kind advice! I really appreciate it.

I'm kind of lame. I don't drive (long story, may soon change) so my man comes with me to appointments. He also likes to be there, as he feels much better hearing something from a doc's lips.

I'm with Pamela Jeanne... just remember you've got the whole Internet at your back.

Bean said...

Sunny, Sorry you were feeling lonely. I mostly go to appointment alone unless it's a procedure where hubby HAS to be there or I have to have someone drive me home. Even then, my mom took me to one of my transfers b/c my husband just couldn't be there. I have to tell you that I think most of the women I go in are there alone, maybe about 75% alone, 25% with someone. Also, it was fun running into you a few Saturday's ago. I wonder if we scandalized the waiting room by actually talking to each other in that normally too quiet place. :)

JJ said...

Mook comes when he can--his work prevents time off too, but it definitely is a lonely place to walk into since its such an emotional time each appointment.
Its getting close! Thinking of you friend!

In Search of Morning Sickness said...

Yes, the transfer was by far the mots embarrassing and uncomfy part of IVF. It takes SO long and you have to be so undressed & it's just odd!

I go alone to 90% of my appointments. My husband only accompanied me to the actual IUIs, Retrieval, and Transfer. But potentially he could miss a transfer. So, he's only definitely there when there's need for sperm. :) I have gotten very used to it, and while it bugged me at first, I am fine with it now.

GOOD LUCK! You're getting closer with every step!

Lea Bee said...

i went alone or picked up strangers as circumstance dictated.

GOOD LUCK!!!

Sheryl said...

DH comes to most appointments with me if he can. He usually comes in for the scans too. And like foreverhopefull said, I liked having him there to hold my hand.

Thinking of you :)

The Fawley Family said...

I always went alone to my appointments too. J never felt comfortable going with me...he always said "It is a woman's thing".

Leah said...

Hello? Are you alive? You're no doubt knee-deep in Lupron right now and gearing up for some stims. I'm just wondering how you are doing.

Will I see you on the 16th? I hope so, it's never, ever the same when you aren't there. :-)

Trish said...

for a long time David went with me to everything. He wasn't working and even when I told him it was just a blood work appointment, he insisted on going. When he started his new job in June, that had to change.
I got pregnant & miscarried in his first months at work. He HAD to take off for things like my D&C, but mostly, he just couldn't.

It's rough. I work full time as well, but fortunately usually work 2nd shift, so I'm usually able to get to appointments before work.

I never felt too weird by myself. Actually I sometimes felt more uncomfortable in the waiting room WITH him because I knew that they knew that he was there to get his groove on in the spankatorium.

It's dumb, I know. We're ALL there to do the same thing- that's the beauty of an IF clinic.. but I was still a little self-concious. And you know, I felt like everyone was timing how long it took him. *LOL* Sometimes I think I'm still 12.

Tammy said...

I went to all the regular appts alone. Ryan only came to the "big" ones like the transfer and retrieval. He couldn't get off of work either. :(