Not How We Thought It Would Be

I have been toying with a title for this post for days. Here are a few of them.

5 year anniversary - yep we have been doing this dance for 5 years. I could have had a 4 year old if it had worked the way it is 'supposed to'.

5 out of 7 - how many days I was at the RE last week.

Busted - my IUI cycle.

Laying EGGS - I had more eggs than my body knew what to do with them.

A year of my fertile life - about how many eggs I lost this month.

The Big Scary Step - what is now upon us.

And finally what I ended up with!

Lets just skip to the chase. There will be no IUI this week. I over produced. I had over 20 follicles form. 12 turned into something. 7 to 9 moved into good sized follicles for producing something. The idea of IVF got thrown out there by the BIG office but quickly got taken back by the real thinkers who know my cycle. There was talk of if I would consider selective reduction if needed in order to go through with this IUI. I couldn't make that call. So I got the call Monday afternoon to end this little game we were playing and go onto the pill. I haven't been on the pill in over 8 years. I was also told to use another form of protection of we had relations. We haven't used protection in 5 years.

With all this disappointment and throwing around ideas Grumps and I were left frustrated. We are tired of playing games and changing schedules to fit my bodies schedule. We are tired of the maybes and oops each month. We have decided to move towards IVF.

We sat together in silence letting the idea sink in. We were sad. Sad because we never thought we would have to be here. In fact at the beginning of all of this we both pretty much said we would never go down this road. Grumps was for sure not bending on the idea. Now it was decided on without much discussion.

I talked with my amazing RE! (He called the day of the cancellation making sure I was okay and being there to answer questions. He also answered my email right away. What doctor has email?) I didn't want to be on the pill for 2 months before we could start everything. So this is my pill and lupron month. I will start my lupron shots the first week of March.

I know YEAH for moving ahead. YEAH this will work. YEAH I am so excited. I have heard it all. But we all know it might not. I am guarding myself. I am guarding Grumps too. We aren't telling family right now. I don't want them to be disappointed. You can cheer us on but be careful, we are pretty breakable.