Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Canceled

I got the call last night that 3 out of the 6 embryos didn't make the thaw. My heart was sad, but we began to pray for the other 3.

This morning I get the call from my doctor that the other 3 never divided. The transfer is canceled.

I am sad but was prepared. My doctor will be calling me this afternoon with our next plan of action. He said he doesn't believe it was because of quality that they didn't make it. He says he sees me pregnant. I respond well to drugs. We will just have to tweak some things.

The positive:

The bottle of wine I opened last night will be finished by me.
I can continue to enjoy my summer with the way I love it, drinking.
The shots STOP!
We will not have to do shots on our vacation.
I can relax and have fun without worrying about anything.

The negative:

Grumps heart is broken. He just doesn't understand.
My mom feels bad that a call was even made to me about going home.
I will be waiting as usual.
My next retrieval will be the first week of school.
I lost 6 little lives today.
We have to do it all again.

I believe we should just make my middle name WAIT! Seriously! Thanks for all the support through this. Get your cheers ready for the next cycle!

34 comments:

Isn't it pretty to think so said...

cheers for the next cycle...so sorry for this one being canceled. Love your positive attitude, but I'm really sad for you.

LJ said...

That's a total load of crap. So sorry my dear. At least there is the fruit of the vine....

Rachel said...

I'm so sorry to hear that this cycle was canceled. Drink up for all of us.

Bean said...

Oh I'm so sorry - that really sucks! You are so amazing, I'm so amazed, that you can see some positives in all this. Hope you enjoy your wine tonight. I think I'll be having a glass of my own and I'll be toasting you and Grumps and your future babies.
Take care.

Jen said...

Oh, no! That's terrible. I am so sorry.

I will start directing prayers and positive energy towards the next cycle.

Meghan said...

Oh Sunny, that just sucks. I'm so sorry. But I love your positive's and will also be thinking and praying for your next fresh cycle!

Jendeis said...

Crap, that news stinks! Virtual alcohol comin' your way!!

Leah said...

Shit. This is just shit. Shitty, shittified, shitty, shit. I can't believe it. I prayed until my pray-er was sore yesterday after reading your email. Guess it didn't work. Shit. I'm so sorry. You sound so positive, but dagnabbit this sucks. Really, really sucks. Shit.

Somewhat Ordinary said...

Oh Sunny, that sucks! Here is a toast to next cycle-you'll make it!

In Search of Morning Sickness said...

I'm so very sorry for those precious 6 embryos. But your spirit is amazing - I applaud your being able to look ahead. Really. I am glad you guys will cycle again, and I know you were glad to be there for your mom in her extreme time of need. I would have made the exact same decision in your shoes.

PCOSMama said...

You truly do have an amazing spirit to be able to see the positive in these things. We'll all be praying extra hard for your next cycle. Enjoy your wine - you certainly deserve it!

Carrie said...

Oh no Sweetie. No. This isn't fair.

I am so sorry to hear this news. I am in awe of you trying to stay positive. I'm sure you must be in bits.

Please feel free to come here and shout and scream at the world. We want to help you get through this. It'll be so hard at times.

Thinking of you xx

Lollipop Goldstein said...

I am so incredibly sorry, sweetie.

Fertilized said...

GAH- thats craptastic News! Drink that wine girlfriend! Keep it pouring

beagle said...

I'm so sorry. I hope the wine helps . . .

We'll be here to cheer for the next round!

In and Out of Luck said...

Shoot. I'm so sorry, Sunny.

Chrystie said...

I want to be friends with Leah, because she said EXACTLY what I wanted to! Shit-ness all around.

Corn Child said...

Oh Sunny I'm sorry. I'm still thinking good positive thoughts for your next cycle.

Cathleen said...

Oh Sunny, this just sucks! I'm so sorry.

Rose C said...

You have a fabulous attitude. I love you for it. I am also sorry for you. Hugs, lots and lots of them. And if I were with you, I would buy you another bottle and drink with you.

DD said...

This made my heart heavy to read your news. As I know your nature to remain faithful and positive, I will try to do the same and believe that this will help in knowing more the next time. Big squishy internet hugs, Sunny.

nikole said...

ALWAYS cheering for you, my friend. Always.

Joannah said...

I'm so sorry!

((hugs))

Keep the faith and enjoy your wine and your vacation.

Blessings!

lub said...

I'm sorry for the losses.

Twice Blessed said...

I hardly know what to say. So sorry this happened to you girl. I feel like I should tell you what I did the 2nd time around that made me feel like it worked. If you're up for hearing, post me a comment and I'll email you the details. I'd give you a hug and bottle of pino if I could. (I'm not trying to give you any unwanted advise.)

Christy said...

Oh Sunny, that's just awful! I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this. I'll be praying for you and better luck this next time. Enjoy the vino . . .

Lisa said...

I am new to blogging, but I too have been through the emotional roller coaster of infertility. I am sorry to hear about your latest news! I will keep you on my prayer list and hopefully you too will have a miracle baby in your arms soon. Stop by anytime and say hello.

Amber said...

I'm so sorry, Yes, focus on the positive but give yourself permission to grieve and be mad. I'm glad your RE thinks there is hope for you. That has to help.

Monica said...

Sweetie, (((HUGS))) I'm so sorry.

At least you have that wine. But remember, drinking and posting don't mix.

KE II said...

Oh man Sunny, that sux! I know the feeling. So nice to see you so incredibly positive though :) Cheering for the next cycle!

niobe said...

I'm so sorry about this. I'm hoping that the alcohol (yay!) makes the waiting (boo!) a little easier.

Shelby said...

Sunny, I'm so sorry! This sucks, big time. But will have a glass of wine "with" you tonight, and will send lots of positive thoughts for your next cycle.

dmarie said...

Crap. I'm so sorry you've been put on hold yet again. I'm sorry about you losing your six little embies.

Lori said...

Oh, Sunny. I'm so sorry about your 6 embies.

And I agree with your doctor that you will be a mom.

Hugs, my friend.