My traveling begins today!
I am looking forward to a busy summer. I won't have time to think about my body, cycle, or baby making timing. I have been very frustrated with my chart and everything that goes with that these days. Nothing is working the way it is suppose to work. There are days when I think that the time is here to get our groove on. But the next morning with my thermometer in my mouth proves me WRONG!
If you don't hear from me for a little while, just know that I am working hard to be normal!
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Traveling
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
The Advice Just Keeps On Coming
Now that I am fully trying again, the advice has started to pour in like the pre-Lupron days.
You would think that people would think before they speak. You would also think that they were smarter than they really are.
I had endometriosis. I was on an awful drug. I am trying to get my hormones leveled. I think I know what I am doing by now. BUT people still try to help with stupid words.
*Relax and it will happen.
*You know that stress will really mess up your body.
*Enjoy the ride and forget about the planning and work.
*Have sex and don't plan it.
*It will happen when it happens.
*Start working towards adopting.
*Then your mind will be off trying to get pregnant and onto adopting.
*A study was done on people who began adopting and got pregnant during the process.
SHUT UP!!!! I know that they are only trying to help. They want to feel like they are involved. They really want me to have a child. They continued to tell me that over and over again.
*You will be a wonderful mother.
*You need to be a mom some way some how.
So I know that they mean well but you would think that all the advice would stop now.
As I hugged everyone goodbye for the summer everyone told me that they hoped I had good news and a belly when school starts back. Now those are sweet words.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
A Good Place
I am so in a good place. (D I took that from you! I am glad you are in a good place too!)
Last month I wasn't in a very good place. I felt so like I was falling apart. I felt like I was holding onto life by my finger nails. Since progesterone and time I feel like the old me is back.
Being in a good place is nice. My thoughts aren't consumed with maybes and wonders and woes. I can be around others with bellies and babies and not feel so... I am enjoying where I am. Of course I would love there to be more but right now I am good.
My summer vacation begins next week. It is packed full of trips and visits. It overwhelms but yet makes me excited. I won't have time to sit and wonder and freak myself out. Staying busy is the key.
Now if only my body would get the picture and realize that I am in a good place.
Monday, June 05, 2006
The Lapping
The lapping just has to stop. Seriously, it needs to stop.
Lapping: verb, a word meaning when a friend or acquaintance is expecting another child while you are still waiting for your first.
It amazes me how the news never changes how I feel. I smile. I reply to the email or conversation, or whatever with a nice fake, Congrats! I am so excited for you!
LIE
LIE
LIE!!!!
I really am not truly excited for them. I mean I am but I am not. Very mixed feelings. I get that "THIS IS NOT FAIR" message ringing in my ears. It really just blows my little mind.
One day, my baby will come. Until then, I will enjoy my wine!
Saturday, June 03, 2006
She Has Arrived!
My lovely lady friend has arrived. She brought her friend Cramp with her too. When she first decided to show it was like I had gotten a bfp. I was smiling from ear to ear. I had to tell at least 4 people that she had arrived at that very moment.
Cramp decided to dig in hard.
It just feels good to have a clean slate. It would be wonderful if my ovaries got the message and started doing their job.
If you would like to celebrate with me, bust open a bottle of red wine and say a cheer to Aunt Flow and her friends!
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