Saturday, February 24, 2007

My V is closed for Repairs

I has been seen and touched WAY too much lately. Stink, I told Grumps that we would get it on tonight. Maybe he will be too tired. HA!

First I had a moment with the lovely condom covered wand. All was fine and dandy and went very fast! I did feel like a science project or some test subject looking for gold.

Next was my lovely pap. I have been bad. I haven't had a pap in 3 years. With all the other testing, probbing, touching going on down there I didn't feel it was necessary to add that in. I know, I am a bad example. Really and truly the worse part for me is the boobie exam. I HATE that part! They haven't been touched by a stranger while I was awake (who knows what they do to you when you are under and on the table) in 3 years.

My doctor had a 'shadow intern' with him. Of course they asked if she could join in on the fun. "WHO CARES!" is what I said. Truly at that point, naked but under paper, sweating like a pig, legs spread wide open, let's let them all have a looksie and touchy moment with my V! It was a little awkard when the intern was between my legs, my doc was trying hard to get the lighting right for her while peering over her shoulder and the nurse was watching on the sidelines. I felt left out being the only one who didn't get to look and wear gloves. The only good part was that my doctor bragged and got all excited about my lap pictures to show to the intern. I will be famous someday, they are that pretty!

Finally the best moment all week, my HSG! I was calm and collected. I went alone BUT MANY people offered to take me. I felt like I could handle it since I did it once before alone being a newbie in it all. (This would be hsg #3 for me.) I took a nice 800mg pill of ibprophin from my m/c. It sure made me loopy, I had no idea. I was so out of it I told them the wrong date for my first day of my last period. They thought I was on day 13. OOPS!

I hopped up on the table with the big diaper. No stirrups here. I told them that they really were important. Instead the old lady doctor pulled me down on the table until I almost fell off. She was a little harsh with the nurse and intern. It must be my lucky week. AND ME! The tube was pushed in. Yep, I felt it. Then it was PUSHED in even more with major force since she was perplexed why it wouldn't go up easily. Beats me but I wished for a gentiler push. The balloon was blown up, I had to hold my breath. The dye was shot in at a very slow pace. I thought I was going to die or scream STOP at the top of my lungs. MAN IT HURT! It got to a point that I could care less if my tubes were clear or not. I just wanted the pain to go quickly.

The results all is fine with my tubes and all that jazz. I knew that it would be. We just needed to prove it to the good ole RE. I ended the afternoon with drinks and girl time with T. Then back to the house for a heating pad, more 800mg and an evening nap.

I really think I should take back my offer from Grumps. MAN but guess what, O time is coming!

Out of all your tests you have had, which one was your favorite? Come on, I want to hear your story!


Beth said...

Oh my HSG was definitely as fun!!

GLouise said...

Your HSG sounds awful! I must have had a very gentle doctor way back when...

My "favorite" medical procedure where an RE took FOREVER to complete an IUI. I swear it took 20 minutes. And it was so painful. He kept switching catheters.

Hope you don't have to undergo any more tests for a while! :=)

kell said...

my HSG ranked right up there with yours! It was on my birthday of all days so that made it all the more memorable. I kept laughing in my head when they said you will feel slight pressure. Yah right!! If thats what they call pressure what do they call pain?! I knew that day we wouldnt get good results, I saw a couple of samples of a good HSG before going in. Rookie mistake LOL

Sunny said...

Oh Kell they told me the same thing. "You will feel slight pressure." Ummm I told them it is more like you are crushing my ovaries in your hands and sreaming in my face at the same time. AWFUL!

glouise I am now afraid of an IUI. :(