Saturday, February 10, 2007

The Day Is Coming

March 20th will be here so soon. Seeing K and her belly and hearing her say only 6 weeks to go, WOW I was trying to forget.

I started thinking about to the day I got my BFP. I thought I never would see that day. The emotions were crazy. I was on cloud nine with butterflies to beat all butterflies. I couldn't stop running and jumping through my house. I wanted to tell the world but also wanted to hold the news close to my heart.

Some days that day feels like a dream that I made up in my little infertile world.

Just like that amazing day I will never forget week 6 when my numbers weren't doubling. I thought we were losing our little angel to heaven. I cried like I have never cried before. Tears shook my body down to the very core of my being. I wanted to die. When I saw my little one's heart beating life filled me with hope again.

Then there was the day when there wasn't a heartbeat. I couldn't cry. The world stood still. I felt like I was drowning.

I wonder what March 20th will be. How will I remember that day? How will it mark my life?

3 comments:

Sarah said...

My dear Sunny - The Lord will give you strength to make it through that day. He will also give you what you need to remember that day in a positive way. Love you!

Tanner said...

Today, Feb. 12th, I should be giving birth. It is so hard. This week has been awful. I can understand how you feel. I had to go to my best friends babyshower on Sat. when all I want to do is put it out of my mind.

You are not alone. Hang in there - there is a larger plan.

snapshots said...

Whatever happens on that day, God will carry you. We will all carry you and remember you and Grumps and your precious angel with lots and lots of love.