Silence is Not an Option: How to respond to uncomfortable questions

Very rarely do I get asked dumb questions. It seems most of the world knows about us and our problems and whatever. I do get asked the occasional 'Are you pregnant' only because I work with some simple people. They believe the water at work will get you pregnant like everyone else.

Over the holiday my dad had a long time friend stop by my house. We all chatted. Nothing major just random talk. My dad went down memory lane with him a few times. Then he turned to me, my dad's friend. Just without thinking he asked a very simple question. He asked, "Sunny, when are you going to have a little girl running around your house?" I wasn't shocked. I really wasn't even offended. He didn't know. I can't blame him for his stupid question. But I could get irritated at everyone else in the room.

The room fell silent. I think everyone was afraid I would fall apart or freak out. They don't know me very well then. I calming replied, "We are waiting for God to give us a miracle. We have been waiting for awhile. It definitely isn't because we haven't tried." My answer is my rehearsed answer. I have practiced. I have used it before. But what I wanted in return was, "wow" or "I'm sorry." OR nothing from the man who had no idea what a simple question would bring in return BUT something from my family. Like, "Yep they have been trying for a long time. We are praying for a miracle with them." SOMETHING! But silence remained from the crowd. I don't remember how the subject was changed because I was so shocked by the nothingness. But it is my family. Support isn't something they give when it is a problem God is supposed to fix.

Onto the infertility bracelet. Grumps and I started wearing our bracelets a couple of months ago. Nothing really has been said or asked about it. Grumps did have a buddy wonder what it was. Of course Grumps explained. His buddy was like, "cool". I was very proud of my man for not shrugging it off. I wish I had an experience like that. Instead I get ones like these.

On our family cruise many of us were sitting around doing nothing. One of our family friends asks me, "Sunny what is that bracelet for?" Silence hit the group. All eyes go to me. I take a deep breath and begin to explain the meaning of it. When I finished I expected a "cool" or "wow" but got silence. Nothing. Just silence. I felt sick for sharing.

My dad finally asked this week why did we wear the bracelet. He hadn't been with the silent crowd on the cruise. My dad thought it was to remember something. Grumps stumbles through his response so I step in. I explain, blah blah blah. Guess what the reaction was from my dad? YEP SILENCE! Awkward silence.

I know IF makes many feel uncomfortable. It makes me feel MANY not so great feelings. But I wish people would stop and think before being idiots. Yes, I understand they are at a loss for words. I understand it makes them feel uncomfortable. IF isn't about them.

Here are some very simple response to IF or whatever makes you feel uncomfortable.
WOW
I'm sorry
Cool
Let me know if you need anything
Interesting
I never knew
Tell me more

Silence should never be an option. Be polite. Be considerate. Maybe we need an IF etiquette book for the world. We could title it, Silence is not an option.