Monday, May 19, 2008

A Quick Thought

While I am at it I might as well add a quick IF thought.

Being back in a small town I forgot how there really isn't ANYTHING to do but get married, have babies and eat.

Everywhere I turn people WAY younger than me are telling me about their families and asking me about mine. All are shocked when I say I don't have children but am waiting on my miracle. Of course some even say I can have theirs. I laugh and decline.

Well today I was given advice by a very young couple who only slightly dealt with IF. They haven't been trying long but did go through an early miscarriage. BUT they are now pregnant again. Here's the advice... I was eating brownie batter and she said, "You know, you shouldn't be eating that if you are pregnant." HA! Is what I said. She said, "But what if you are pregnant. You just never know." Oh so true but it truly would be a miracle if I was pregnant. I haven't been with my husband in biblical terms in a month. PLUS I am so not young in this trying business. I quit believing those small things would cause a problem. If I truly did I would have a very sad life since I have been on this ride for the past 5 years.

I am not sure if this made sense at all. But seriously, if I hear or see another young pregnant woman OR an 'old friend' who I could careless seeing tell me about their family and why I don't have my own I might hurt someone.

Anyone else used to live in a small town and then went back to visit after turning into an IF? Isn't it hardly bearable?

17 comments:

In Search of Morning Sickness said...

Yes, I am from a small town where that is the norm, but even more than the small town is one of the churches we came from.... Literally girls get married out of high school or college and heave babies that first year or two. So yeah, I get kinda tired of being the odd one out. However, when I look at our footloose and fancy free lifestyle, going to fancy restaurants and exotic vacations every now and then... I can tell they're envious and so it makes me grateful that at least the feeling is mutual. *wry grin*

~Jess said...

My husband and I live in the small town where we grow up. We constantly see classmates (usually the ones we never liked or thought highly of)parading around with their numerous offspring. There are a couple people that we do know...and they're constantly asking when are we having kids. Of course their fertile-myrtles: It hurts.

Meghan said...

that is exactly why I don't go to any of my h.s reunions or get togethers. Some of the girls got pregnant right after we graduated. I don't need that

Anonymous said...

I'm one step behind, I'm the one not married yet. When I go back home even my friends' little siblings are married and having babies. They might not come out and say it directly, but I can read faces pretty well. I think they think I have a repulsive plague. They can't imagine why in the world I'm not married YET! We may have came from the same home town, but we now live on different planets. My world travels and living in Colorado is intriguing to them, but so foreign, its hard to relate sometimes. Going back home is sometimes a love hate relationship for me. Though I'm not going through IF, I can relate to being odd man out in my hometown. Enjoy the southern cookin'! -Kelly

The Town Criers said...

I always thought I wanted to grow up in a small town, but I'm not sure I could handle that pressure!

It is so good to hear your voice again. We miss you up here.

Fertilized said...

I STILL live in that small town.. and haven't found many "non-hurtful" commentors, assvice givers still

Cathleen said...

Um yeah...how about a big Amen and I'll leave it at that.

So glad to hear from you!

Debby said...

People just need to shut their mouths and not give unsolicited advice. Seriously pisses me off. So sorry....

Glad you're coming home to the big city life soon. :-) Not that people don't say stupid crap here too....but it is a little better.

Rose C said...

So glad that you have blogged again! I am from a small town, and I do remember the silly advice. That's why I had a glass of wine nightly the first week I was pregnant, because I didn't know and surely didn't see it coming. The RE had told me that it wasn't happening on my own.

You can't live in the what if's when you are dealing with IF, it's too cruel.

Pamela Jeanne said...

I don't live in a small town, but I do know the irritating effects of people offering unsolicited comments or questions without thinking and bragging on their children. Just today a veritable pregancy-palooza broke out in front of me. Fortunately I was able to extricate myself easily...as hard as I try to be zen-like, it never seems to get any easier. Sigh.

dmarie said...

I know you wanted to flick a spoon-full of batter at her :)

tracey said...

i think you should just "let go and let god" or try to adpot, then you'd for sure get pregnant! >: ) love you!

s.e. said...

Completely sympathize with you. I am from a small town and now live in the suburbs. The "trying to help but really don't understand" people are everywhere. I am constantly reminding myself to stay tactful while I shut them up.

Oh and if brownie batter makes it harder to procreate I have hear a bottle of wine or going on vacation works everytime!

Arlene Tabamo said...

i often feel that and for those same reasons, sometimes i do not go to family reunions or other get together... probably sometimes those people do not really want to hurt us but they just have to be sensitive and as much as possible make lighter comments... been hearing these comments for about 7 years now of TTC

niobe said...

Even though I've always lived in the big city, when talking to people, I often cringe, not so much for myself, but imagining the pain that their careless comments might have on others.

Dreamer4agift said...

I live in a city where they can't decide if they're big or small. However, the church I go to is pretty "small town minded" and I get really tired of hearing the well-meant comments and offers to take other's kids.

Dawn NCBuckeye said...

Hi Sunny.
Small towns can be lovely...and then again, they can really bite. IF sucks. I agree with the PP...I totally would have wanted to flick some batter at her, cause it's HARD to get out of clothes...but then again, who wants to waste brownie batter!

Love & Hugs. And brownie batter.