Moving Foward in Faith

Every day my thoughts begin with a rub and a prayer... These babies will LIVE to declare the works of the Lord. Then I take a moment to just breathe. Then as the day goes on thoughts go to the what ifs. It is a very hard balance.

I went 'shopping' this weekend with D. Looking at cribs, bedding, you name it. The last time I had walked into that store was right before we lost our little angel to heaven. What an overwhelming moment and day. I got home exhausted. Nothing was purchased but ideas began. Before I left to shop I asked Grumps if I could buy the cribs if I found them. His reply, "I guess we could return them if something happened." Grumps is feeling it too.

We have had to just move forward in faith. God has this in HIS HANDS! I can't doubt. I can't be moved. We have to hold steady. When we finally talked about it all, Grumps seemed to begin to connect with the reality. He even brought up some name ideas. It felt good.

Tonight I made my first purchase. We don't have cute little names for our twins. We call them baby a and baby b. So lame BUT in our lameness I felt onesies that say just that, Baby A and Baby B. I can't wait to get the little package in the mail.

I am truly over the moon with these little miracles. Yes I am blah at times. Pregnancy is tough. But I KNOW it will be so worth it in the end.