I think I figured out the problem with me. It is nothing that I can fix but it is the root of it all.
EASTER!
I know that Easter is truly about power, grace, forgiveness, sacrifice, salvation, eternal life... In the world today it is made to be about family, fun, children, life... All of those things are wonderful but for someone who doesn't live near her family or has a family of her own it isn't fun.
Today I watched from a distance kids hunting for eggs, dad's playing with their kids, families laughing together. Grumps and I held hands, ate good food, enjoyed nature, played with our dog. All of our things are wonderful but we both felt what was missing.
Tomorrow at church that heaviness will be there for sure. When we go to lunch it will be there. When we go home and pull up into the neighborhood it will be there. I need to make tomorrow about what it really is about: God's amazing love for me. I need to get my eyes off of me and put it right back on Him.
Thank you for listening to my rambles.
Saturday, April 15, 2006
The Problem
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4 comments:
The holidays are the hardest.
nothing to write that will take the sting of this holiday away, so just popping this here to say your not alone. now if you want to go out and hide easter eggs I'll come over and play.
Come right on over!!!! Now we could get all the plastic eggs on sale. :) And candy too!
Infertility is so hard. You want to stay close to God, but you go to church and see everyone else hugging and kissing children that you don't have.
I once was in a meeting for a group I volunteer with at church. It was at the youth pastor's house and he had to interupt our meeting for bedtime snuggles with his 3 year old.
Hang in there. I know it's hard.
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