Thursday, May 31, 2007

Bad Habit Induced by Infertility

I just realized the other day that I have MANY bad habits which are semi recent. I totally blame infertility to ALL OF THEM! Some I love and others I wish I could break!

Here's my list in no particular order.

Drinking! I enjoyed a little this or that at times but I drink almost every day. SO BAD! I drink wine and liquor. I am actually getting a wine gut.

Swearing! Yep I have picked up a little favorite word that I catch myself whispering, thinking and saying when those swear moments happen. I NEVER swore! In fact I am known for my silly made up swear words. But now I use sh*t constantly. Then lets add the bad habit of drinking to this and I use other good words. I would love to get rid of this habit even though I find it fun!

Eating! I have always loved to eat BUT after my mom told me I could lose a few pounds I dropped quite a bit. I was proud of my loss and looking nice and thin. The past 4 years I have gained a big chunk back. BOO HISS!!! I have lost and gained, lost and gained, lost and gained. Right now I am on the gain side of things. I look fine but totally have backfat. The tire is starting to form. I am too old to start gaining. It just won't come off as easily now. Okay to be honest, I haven't tried in a long time. I have enjoyed every fat bite and take pride in the fact that I do eat bad. HELP ME STOP!

Negative Nancy! We have chatted about this before. It isn't a bad thing but it isn't a good thing either. I guess it is more the "Whatevers" than the "Negatives". I want to be naive again.

Lazy Lover! Grumps and I 'talked' about this today. I just do what I need to do to make him happy. So crazy! I let him be a taker and not a giver. I don't want that. Of course when I do ask for more I don't get it. I rarely ask. I made him repeat after me today as we were 'having a moment' "I am a taker, not a giver!" I should demand more!

Big Spender! Man I can spend the money now. I don't shop often but when I do I drop the dollars. I have happy hour at least once a week with D. We don't go to cheap places. We order food and LOTS OF DRINKS at top prices. I buy wine and more wine all the time. I really need to cut back. I am sure Grumps would like that.

I am sure there are more bad habits. I should ask Grumps what he thinks but I know it would start a 'discussion'.


PCOSMama said...

I completely hear you - it's almost like infertility (and of course the depression that tends to come with it) gives us a free ticket to do these things! Negative test? Eat a pan of brownies! That's been my motto! Poor response? Pick up some drinks on the way home and numb yourself!

Hey, I think it's healthy to 'let go' sometimes, and I honestly don't see anything wrong with happy hour once a week, etc. As long as you are happy with yourself, have fun!

I'm not sure this all came out right - basically I'm saying you have the right to go out and have a good f-ing time! See, I don't see a problem with swearing! I've been known to talk like a truck driver... hard habit to break! ;)

And btw, you're a much better 'lazy lover' than I am - I've gotten so lazy that I've become the taker, rarely the giver. If you're doing enough to keep him happy, than I think you're doing just fine.... as long as you are happy too!

Chris said...

My first words on the day of my last vaginal ultrasound when we found there was no longer a heartbeat were "Oh, shit!". Classy, huh? I think swearing comes naturally with infertility. Look it up, it's in the book and supported by studies.

kell said...

I cant begin to tell you how many of those I had during infertility and still have due to waiting for a baby through adoption. I think like Chris said its normal for these things to happen as a result of infertility.

Reproductive Jeans said...

Im having some small anxiety (ok sometimes big) about the "Lazy Lover" too..its hard to go through this journey and not feel like s.e.x can be fun anymore...I feel like I am the one asking a lot of the time..and its a challenge to "demand" things...but glad to know Im not alone in these feelings...

Chrystie said...

Sunny, repeat after me:
"It's all good. I can drink and swear and be less than a porn star queen, and people will still love me."
And hey, at least you haven't started smoking! (Where's a hotel balcony when we need one?!)

PCOSMama said...

Hey Sunny, you mentioned dump cake in my comments.... I've been wanting to try it with cherry pie filling so I'm glad you mentioned that! I usually make it with French Vanilla cake mix and canned, sliced peaches. Same amount of butter, and I sprinkle cinnamon and sugar over everything too. Try it out, you'll probably want the whole pan! I think I'm making a cherry one this weekend.... ;)

Melissa said...

We need the outlets to keep from going POSTAL! Infertility is so challenging emotionally, physically, and spiritually. It is no wonder we pick up a few coping mechanisms along the way. I'm not finding that international adoption makes me turn to chocolate too!

Melissa said...

Oops! That last sentence should say "I'm NOW finding..." Sorry.

shazz said...

Wow we have each others habbits....great aren't they lol!!