Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Watching Wallpaper Dry

That is what we do all the time. We watch and wait for the wallpaper to dry. We wait for our cycles to start, cycles to end. Insurance to be switched. We wait for appointments, test results and answers. We wait for our D&C to be scheduled. We wait for our hearts to stop hurting. We wait for the pain to leave. We might even get to wait to finally have our little ones.

SO what do you do during your wait?

If you are me you:

Have happy hour at least 3 times a week with amazing friends and drinks. Yesterday D and I enjoyed 2 bottles of wine for 4 hours at one of our favorite restaurants on the deck. I have a farmer's tan to prove it. Last week we all downed 5 swirls in honor of a crap week!

Visit many wineries and purchase bottle after bottle to be consumed when Aunt Flow shows instead of celebrating. I am running low right now.

Plan party after party after party. My last party was our second karaoke party. It was the best by far! This week will be a 'toy party'. I have a to do a mile long. Rice Krispy Penises, food, Sex on the Beach punch. Thursday can't get here fast enough.

Lots of blog reading. There are days when I feel so behind and others when I scream at my laptop begging for a new post from anyone. Thank God for Google Reader. I no longer have to check each of my blogs. I can just hit next on my tabs and BAM I get updates!

TV TiVo TV TiVo TV TiVo Once a month I get caught up! There are always shows to watch, old and new.

As you can see I keep pretty busy. Sometimes too busy. Other times not busy enough. Remember the flicker of hope? Well the flicker has grown only to be slowly dying again. Man my boobs have been crazy with symptoms. BUT tonight I feel AF dragging her heavy bags in for a little long weekend trip. UGH!~

Anyone want to throw back some tequila with me?


DD said...

Tequila. Nector of the drunken gods.

I'm sorry the wait we all seem to find ourselves in is never easy, yours especially now.

kell said...

I am sorry the wait continues to be challenging. Isnt it for us all. It is definitely the hardest part of our journeys to parenthood. I would def. throw back some shots with you. Any day girl :-) I am game!

Amber said...

I'm pretty sure you could get my husband to shoot back, ummm 11 or 12 with you. And then you could watch as the excitement begins, good distraction from the waiting. I wish I could be there to wait with you!

missm said...

Hi Sunny,
I don't comment much, but I always read your blog. :)

You might know some of the stuff I've been going through. A totally different wait than yours (and probably one you'd be thankful beyond thankful to go though ... at least that's what I tell myself on my really down days ... it doesn't really make me feel any better, but it's a reality check none the less).

So in the last two days I've talked about or read about people and their 'waiting'. In one book I was reading about depression and the author suggested that if you fight it too much it can actually make it worse because you don't get better and then you blame yourself .... blah, blah, blah ... and so the guy was saying that the best thing to do is just ride the wave. And that it will end. My girlfriend, who dealt with ppd said she walked and walked and walked. Like 5 or 6 hours a day. My mom's aunt, after she lost her baby ... she cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. Dale's mom, after Dale's brother died, she also walked (lots).

It's like those feelings are there and you have to feel them until they're gone, but it seems it's also human nature to distract. It's a self preservation.

I guess in my situation ... I've been fighting, fighting, fighting and I think I'm ready to ride the wave. Feel what I feel. Knowing that God is carrying me and holding me and will not let me go, and when the time is right he'll set me down and walk beside me (now I'm crying). Haven't picked up on any one distraction idea. I'd love it if I would get into something that's totally fun and healthy for me (like walking, running, scrapbooking, cleaning) ... but it's not happening for me.

Anyway ... I don't know if you wanted to hear all this, or if it made sense or mattered or anything. If this doesn't encourage, then just trash it and forgive me and tell Grumps I'm a shit head. It will at least make you smile & feel better for a couple of seconds.

PCOSMama said...

If it's a virtual shot, I'll happily do a few with you! Sorry that you're stuck waiting again. I know it sucks! I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that the waiting ends on a happy note....

FattyPants said...

I will bring my half empty bottle of petron!

How is the dropped chicken doing?

LJ said...

We could be sisters from another mister. I'm on my last prometrium tonight to be able to trigger my period for the longest cycle ever. Granted, I was pregnant for a day in there, but if that's not a reason for wine and tivo, I don't know what is.

Chris said...

You have raised a very interesting topic, one that I surprising haven't given much formal thought to, considering how much waiting I have done. (And I'm warning you now, if this doesn't make much sense please remember that I am still dosed up on Percoset.) If we are talking waiting during the two week wait, actually the first week is pretty good becasue I am so ful of hope. The second week not so great, because I just feel Aunt Flo comig on and get all bummed out. However, now I know that the beginning of my pregnancy was just like Aunt Flo, so hopefully I won't wig out so much next time. As for general waiting, I just keep really busy and generally help out much more with my dad because at least i know that is doing some good in the wrold and I tned to sub more duirng that time. My waiting time now, I plan to take advantage of my new scrapbooking space. Just as soon as I can bring myself to go into that room. And yes, I would love to throw back some tequila with you, but htat may have to wiat until I get the anesthesia out of my ssytem and quit the Percoset. BUt I will drink with you in spirit. Or, you can down a couple for me.

The Town Criers said...

I brought the tequila! And I want to hear more about the toy party as well as see a picture of the rice krispie treat penis.