Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Beer and Wings

When your husband finally understands what it feels like to be the last one standing, beer and wings is the only way to comfort.

My best friend and 9 co-workers are pregnant. We all know there are more to come. I am getting pretty good at just dealing with it all. Grumps has never really had it hit home. Guys at work are very jealous of his life. They would love to be free and do and go and whatever like Grumps. One guy he works with is 24 with 4 kids. It hurts but he doesn't really know him.

Last night he got his first real phone call announcement. I had been waiting for that call. It stung a bit. But today when he went to work his other really good friend told him they were expecting at the same time. I was also waiting for this too. The wives had told me they were trying. It was only a matter of time.

Grumps told me today he couldn't talk to his buddy for a good 2 hours. It just hurt too much. He wanted to feel happy for them. He knew they should be having a family. But he felt so left out and alone. I hate that he is hurting, but he finally completely understands.

So beer and wings was our night. LOVE IT! Also this year will be a year of birth or big spending, from the mouth of Grumps.

Hugs to my big strong man!

22 comments:

Meghan said...

As much as I want Mr H to understand, I would want to protect him from that, because it sucks. I hope beer and wings took the edge off though

Hugs to both of you!

tracey said...

hugs to you both. here's to this being the year you're the designated driver.

Jen said...

Yuck. That is a lot to be dealing with all at once. I hope the beer and wings takes enough of the edge off. I'm thinking about you both.

Anonymouse said...

I love that you know his love language to know that beer and wings was the best remedy for the moment.

He's a lucky guy!

Amy said...

Sorry you have all that to deal with. It was a beer and wings night for DH and I last night as well.

((HUGS))

In Search of Morning Sickness said...

We had a similar epiphany on husband's part this December... And although I HATED to see him suffering and in pain (as I have been), it was SO GOOD to finally feel like emotionally we were One. It felt good to know that we shared the same pain, so we could work towards healing and coping together.

So, overall, I think this is a good thing.

Fertilize Me said...

Thank God for Beer and wings! That is a rough start to a work day man!

Cathleen said...

Ouch! As much as we want our husbands to understand, it stinks that he's hurting too.

Hope the beer and wings helped!

Cathleen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JJ said...

Mook has only had one hit him really hard yet--but I saw how it did register different with him, than if I had told him one of my friends was pregnant. Its good that you can be there for each other--and beer and wings is a GREAT remedy to IF crap!

Jendeis said...

Yeah, I think it's helped John Dear that none of our close friends is pregnant or trying. We've only got his sister to deal with (though that feels like enough; no tempting fate here, G-D.)

I'm not a beer drinker, but I do love me some wings. Bring 'em on!

Somewhat Ordinary said...

It is so hard when you see it hit your husband. I'm toasting with you to a year of birth or big spending. You have me wanting some beer and wings right now...

Debby said...

So sorry my friend. My heart hurts for you and for Grumps. No one likes to hurt...and even more no one likes to see their spouse hurting. I teared up reading this thinking about big, tall, tough Grumps getting hit hard. It just sucks.

2008 IS going to be your year though. I know I'm too optimistic at times...but really this is going to be it. I know it and feel it in my bones.

Jen said...

I don't do beer or wings but I'm so glad he found a release and that you could support him through it. I hope that working through his grief strengthens your marriage. I keep praying my DH will open up at some point...

Pamela Jeanne said...

Ow. It hurts to know your dh is feeling down. *We* expect to feel that way for all of the obvious reasons, but we also have the camaraderie of each other to lessen the sting and the coping skills on most days to suck it up. But our guys, they seem more vulnerable in some ways and they don't have the outlet to express their feelings. You're a great wife to offer up the beer and wings and understanding.

Beth said...

I'm hoping for you that this YOUR year...

Trish said...

My prayers are with you and your husband. You know, our husbands have it rough. They feel things, but don't always know how to show it. And my husband finally confessed to me after 6 years of TTC that he never really had the chance to think about his own feelings because he was so worried about mine all the time. It was a real revelation to me.

Thank you for your thoughtful post.

Trish
etrish.wordpress.com
blessedarethebarren.wordpress.com

Carrie said...

It took a long time for Mr L to appreciate a little of what I was feeling, he bounced back quickly though.

Although I hate the lack of understanding at times, I figure there is no point in us both being miserable.

I hope he bounces back.

chicklet said...

While it's a bit sick to say, for me this was a good moment - when my husband had his trouble dealing with announcements. It helped me to see him struggling with that side of it too. But beer and wings couldn't have been a better solution:-)

Bean said...

Birth or big spending! I like the sound of that. It sucks he was feeling down, but it IS nice when they understand a bit more what we deal with. Hope he's feeling a little better.

Christyna said...

Wow, to finally have some type of similar understanding must be amazing and a bit sad. Of course it's still different from what you feel but the fact that he gets it is huge...I hope it's a year of both for you guys...and wings and beer are perfect, I love them!! Thanks for your comment.

Cibele said...

Hugs to both of you. I remmeber the first time that my husband felt left out. It was so difficult to see him hurting... healing will come! and bettwr yet, you will feel like you belong soon! I will hold on hope for you