Saturday, September 24, 2005

My Wait

After my final test and they discovered my endo the doctor and I sat down for a talk. I was hoping that he would say that he was able to remove it all and now lets start trying again. WRONG! Of course I went to the doctor again alone to hear my outcome. I wish I had brought someone just to tell me what the doctor had said. My brain was mush.

The endo covered my kidneys, lover, bladder, the wall of my insides (I am sure it has a nice technical name that starts with a p), on one of my ovaries and everywhere else it could have found a nice home. I am blessed for the fact that my tubes are clear. I have no adhesions or scaring. I just have this crap all over the place. It is like a spiderweb of sickness.

My treatment: LUPRON, the drug from hell. This drug stops your cycle and puts you into a menopausal state. I am on a 9 month treatment. Most people only do 6 months. But I guess I have a better chance at 9. When you think about it, my treatment is the length of pregnancy. Nice thought! So now you know the reason for my wait, the long wait!

I have found that during this wait I had to decide on the attitude I would take. I could be miserable or I could have a good time. The good time was my decision. What can I learn from this wait about myself? What does God want to teach me? How can I grow through this?

This is my wait of growth!

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