Thursday, October 06, 2005

Lupron: the love/hate relationship

Lupron is the drug from hell. I am hoping that it turns into the miracle drug but right now it is the drug from hell. Here's the downlow on the drug. I have severe endometriosis. It has covered my 'everythings' and then some. Doctors aren't really sure what truly causes it and why it hits some woman and not others. But they do think that it is caused by too much estrogen. So that is where Lupron comes in. Lupron puts your body into a menopausal state. My body is now a 60ish year old woman. To all those who are in menopause my heart goes out to you. IT SUCKS!!! Here is my list of problems/side effects/menopause since my lovely Lupron.

*Hot Flashes from hell!!!* I thought I understood what a hot flash was like before I had one. NO WAY! Hot is an understatement! For all those ladies out there, here is the best way I can explain them. You know when you are about to have an orgasm? That slow hot feeling that rises through you. It creeps up hot and slow with a strange sweat. Well that is a hot flash minus the actual orgasm that we all so love. It is like never reaching the peak but just going over and over again with the heat. Sometimes they are long and slow and come on like a wave. Other times they are fast and quick and take my breath away. Remember, When Harry Met Sally and Sally has her fake orgasm in the restaurant? That is what I sound like when they come on quick. I used to think that women with hot flashes were over dramatic. WRONG!!! They should be more dramatic. HA!

*Green discharge* I haven't had this for a while but when I did, yuck is all I could say. It actually woke me up in the night. It was just like water. I woke up with wet sheets. AWFUL and GROSS!

*Insomnia* Due to the hot flashes. How awful to be awake in the middle of the night soaked and awake next to someone who is fast asleep. I have prayed for many of you during those long, slow nights.

* It is crazy how tired I have been. I think I have slept great but wake up so tired that I can barely keep my eyes open. Thanks to Coke Zero! It has been my lifesaver!!! I have tried sleep helps but lately the leave me with a hangover. I will just stick to Coke Zero!

*Lupron Brain* I can't remember crap! I can't keep a cohesive train of thought. After doing some reading I found that this is from lack of sleep! It never ends, this viscous cycle.

*NO SEX LIFE* This wouldn't be such a bad thing if I weren't married. My poor husband is so deprived. I try to do "other things" to make him happy but it still isn't the same. I hate the thought of sex. It hurts like nothing other! I am dry as a bone. Even if I think I am turned on like crazy, DRY! I have tried many helps but nothing helps the pain. I even bleed a bit afterwards. It is just awful. I hope my husband knows that I love him without the sex.

*Itchies* At one point I had this mysterious itch. It woke me up in the night. I tried creams and benodryl. Nothing stopped it. Later I found out that I had shingles. HA! Way too funny!

*Weight Gain* Just call it the CHUNK CHUNK. It also didn't help that I spent most of my summer in bed watching tv and having 'fun' drinks to lift my spirits. I had to make an emergency run to Target and Walmart the night before school started so I could have something to wear. AWFUL! I am too tired to workout!

*The Blahs* I am a super up beat person. I let everything just roll off my back. Well the blahs are awful for me. They make me just want to curl up in bed and never get out again.

*MOODS* My name is Sunny! Therefore I am usually Sunny! With my last shot of this drug, Lupron hit my moods in such a bad way. I now have balls. Before I would just do whatever and never really speak my mind. Now my moods are out of control. I go off and freak out over everything. I hate this part of me!

*Zits* Self explanatory!

*Facial Hair* I love having a nice peach fuzz on my chin.

I think I have touched on all the ways how the drug from hell has effected my life. I have one more shot left. Lets see if I can add anything to the list. Thank God with the next shot I get some add back hormone therapy!

I am hoping that at the end of this journey with Lupron I can take the hell out of it and put the world Miracle!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I was pretty sure I was reading about myself. I have been going through the same things as you. I only hope that the end is in sight and I will get back to my normal self. I have 4 injections to go and honestly I dont want to do them anymore!