Friday, October 07, 2005

'Helpful People'

Now this post isn't about those that have truly been my support. This post is for all those out there who try to be 'helpful'. The 'helpful' are those who think they have the answer for infertility. They don't think before they speak. Yes, don't get me wrong, they try super hard to help. They actually think they are truly helping. I don't hold a grudge. I don't hate them. But I sure do get irritated by them.

Here's my list of 'helpful' words from those 'helpful' people:

*Just relax and you will get pregnant.
*Stop stressing and your time will come.
*When you think too much about it, it is like waiting for water to boil.
*Your time will come.
*This is just preparing you to be a great mom.
*You are young.
*You have plenty of time.
*Get a dog, it will do the trick.
*Stop temping and it will happen.
*Get your mind on something else.
*Start the adoption process.

I am sure there are many other 'helpful' comments out there. Feel free to add your own. Let's see the list grow!


Jay said...

I think you hit most of them Sunny. Yes, some helpful people just aren't so helpful.
I think what would bother me the most would come from those with kids already saying "just enjoy the time you have now"
"you want MY kids?" @@ I always said yes, that I wanted their kids. It just seemed like those with kids didn't appreciate how lucky they were to have them.

laura said...

Oh, I know there are more, and I feel like I've heard them all!!

Many thanks for your notes on my blog ... I've been keeping up w/ yours, too!


Sunny said...

Joanne, I forgot about those. I have had both of those said to me! I always say that I will take there kids too.

Laura you are so welcome!

I need to write more on this blog and get you girls more involved!!! Thank you for reading and commenting!

Cristina said...

I was most hurt by the "You want my kids?!" comments....because that just shouted to me how much this "helpful person" was not getting my hurt, my pain...


I know these people were trying to be helpful, but the best help was just a quiet listener. Nothing really needs to be said when a person is going through this hell.

Continued prayers, Sunny, we WILL see you to success.

3 Miracles (Julia, 3, Sara 18 months and Timothy 3 weeks old)

4 Angels (12, 9, 14.5 weeks--in '98 and one ectopic in '02)
5 years IF and loss
(4 Clomid--failed, 6 back to back IUIs w/gonal f injections--failed, and 4 IVFs--last one resulted in the ectopic.

Sunny said...

Thank you Cristina. To be a listener is the BEST advice to those who don't know what to do or say! You are so right and a great encouragement! d