Thursday, October 11, 2007

Please Remember Me

There have been many times, even recently, I have felt forgotten by God. I watch many people receive their joy and their answer to prayer and yet I am left with the same pleading prayer. I have walked with God for a very long time. I have seen Him do many amazing miracles. My faith has grown but then it wavers when my miracle doesn't happen.

The other night I read a chapter in a book I have been reading. It was the prayer of Hannah. I have read Hannah's story many times. She longs for a child. Her husband's other wife has been granted this desire. Hannah is left in shame not able to give her husband what she should be able to do. What she was made to do. She prays a prayer. She prays for God to remember her. She is left feeling alone and forgotten. I understand Hannah's heart and prayer.

In this search to be remembered by God, He gave me a verse. I have read my Bible since I was a little girl. I have read through Psalms a million times. When I need encouragement I find my way there. I came upon a verse the other night. I swear it was light up. God had illuminated it just for me. The amazing this is, a couple of nights after I was given this verse, I read it again in a devotional I was reading. God wanted me to know I wasn't forgotten. He has remembered me.

Psalm 35:15 "My time is in Your hands."

God knows just what He is doing with my life. With my desires. With my everything. I just need to rest in it. It is all in His hands. So simple but so needed.

During my early morning walk a song comes on my playlist every day. It has spoken to my heart during this desire to be remembered time. I hope it speaks to you as well.

Hard To Get

Rich Mullins

You who live in heaven

Hear the prayers of those of us who live on earth

Who are afraid of being left by those we love

And who get hardened by the hurt

Do you remember when You lived down here where we all scrape

To find the faith to ask for daily bread

Did You forget about us after You had flown away

Well I memorized every word You said

Still I'm so scared, I'm holding my breath

While You're up there just playing hard to get

You who live in radiance

Hear the prayers of those of us who live in skin

We have a love that's not as patient as Yours was

Still we do love now and then

Did You ever know loneliness

Did You ever know need

Do You remember just how long a night can get?

When You were barely holding on

And Your friends fall asleep

And don't see the blood that's running in Your sweat

Will those who mourn be left uncomforted

While You're up there just playing hard to get?

And I know you bore our sorrows

And I know you feel our pain

And I know it would not hurt any less

Even if it could be explained

And I know that I am only lashing out

At the One who loves me most

And after I figured this, somehow

All I really need to know

Is if You who live in eternity

Hear the prayers of those of us who live in time

We can't see what's ahead

And we can not get free of what we've left behind

I'm reeling from these voices that keep screaming in my ears

All the words of shame and doubt, blame and regret

I can't see how You're leading me unless You've led me here

Where I'm lost enough to let myself be led

And so You've been here all along I guess

It's just Your ways and You are just plain hard to get

9 comments:

Melissa said...

Great post.

I have felt forgotten so many times in this journey of life. The "forgotten" times make the times of rememberance all the sweater. Cling to that verse and keep believing your time of rememberance is coming.

Melissa said...

Sorry for the typo. Sweater is supposed to be sweeter!

Lori said...

"God knows just what He is doing with my life. With my desires. With my everything. I just need to rest in it. It is all in His hands. So simple but so needed."

Beautiful.

The music is, too.

r_is_moody said...

That is wonderful how God spoke to you right when you needed him to. I have been in this place so many times wondering if he had forgotten about me. Thanks for the reminder that he hasn't.

Fertilize Me said...

It's amazing how sweet a message from God can just wash over you in your time of needs. Thank you for your honesty and openness!

JJ said...

Beautiful...and thanks for posting that--your reminders of faith are inspiring!

Pamela Jeanne said...

"We can't see what's ahead; And we can not get free of what we've left behind; I'm reeling from these voices that keep screaming in my ears; All the words of shame and doubt, blame and regret"

Sounds very, very familiar. Thanks for this post. It reminds me that we're not alone in our experiences.

jill said...

Oh, this post is so what I needed to read tonight... for totally different reasons, but thank you and thank you God for friends!

Chris said...

It's so easy to feel forgotten while on this journey. I'm glad you found verses to give you comfort and hope.