Thursday, March 02, 2006

The Long Road To Nowhere


I feel like I am going nowhere. I know that I am working towards a great goal. I know that I still have to wait and wait. My cycle still hasn't began. I keep feeling little knocks, pinches, bites, pms, HOT FLASHES.

All of this waiting has put me into a nice funk. I keep eating and mopping around. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

I know that this is part of the journey but it is GETTING OLD!!!

The other day on my way to small group I told Grumps that if one more person in my close circle of friends gets pregnant I will have to just bow out for awhile I know that is selfish but I am at my wits end.

11 comments:

Jay said...

You just do whatever is right for YOU. It's not being selfish, it's self-preservation. Do something nice for yourself to get you out of the funk. You need a spa day.

kell said...

I dont think you are selfish at all! I have two friends that are pregnant right now and more that seem to be popping up around me all at a time when I am dealing with devistating news and all they talk about is being pg and believe it or not how much they dont like it! I bow out most of the time myself too, its the only way to stay sane. You have to do what is best for you to make it through all of this.

Jennie said...

at the risk of offending, ya mates can wait, friends sometimes need to take a back bench while things go on around you, Doesn't mean you don't care about them just means you need to care more about you for a bit. hang in there kiddo waiting sucks and there's more than enough of it to go round.

Sunny said...

I know. I think all waiting needs to end for awhile. I need to see some positives around me for those who have been waiting.

My friends have actually been so good to me. They are very kind when they are around me. So it isn't them being them, it is just bellies and nurseries, and all that jazz.

Thank you for the nice cyber hugs.

Jennie I am hanging by my thumbs but I am still hanging! I think letting go might just hurt.

southern peach said...

Sunny, don't EVER feel bad for how YOU feel...it's part of you and who you are, and everyone is entitled to their own feelings, just like opinions. Focus on yourself, take care of you.
Just think...when your turn comes around, you're going to be so knowledgeable from all of your friends having been parents he he. Look for the positive in everything, it helps...PROMISE! I find myself not doing that sometimes, and have to give myself an attitude adjustment. Plus, stress and worrying can't be helping your chances. Just find some way to get your old self back (be it a spa day, taking some time away for you, WHATEVER WILL GET YOU HAPPY AND NOT STRESSED). I have heard many say this helps ! We all love you and are here for you, going through this with you (though some in spirit and through this blog) *HUGS*
P.S. Job woes from other blog can't be helping stress level either...just a thought...

Jennie said...

sunnygirl, how are those thumbs going? you sounded so sad I so wish I could be there to be a step ladder for you and just hope you know how much we're all here to support you. give the thumbs a rest and let blogolands shoulders hold you up *as much as I don't really do them* **hugs** lovely

Sunny said...

Thank you J. I am doing much better. After being all sad I got a call from my MIL. She told me that she just found out that she has cancer of the immune system. It was very sad and hard to hear but it pulled me off the cliffs and made me be strong for her.

I shared my heart with all that I have learned through my journey. We cried together. I wanted her to know that she wasn't alone. Grumps was gone with his work so I had to keep it to myself until last night. I had to be strong again for him.

It is amazing how getting the focus off of you really turns things around.

Thank you for the hugs and for carrying me through this time.

southern peach said...

I hate to hear this! I will definitely keep you guys in my prayers, okay? Hang in there :)

Sunny said...

Thank you S. Peach.

Jennie said...

oh no Sunny! I'm so so sorry about your MIL, I hope you "all" are doing ok, one day at a time sweetling, the big guy doesnt listen to me but I'll say a prayer for you grumps and MIL.

Barren of Birmingham, England said...

Oh Sunny! You have such a lovely way with words, I really want to tell you that "I know how you feel", but of course that's not true, however, I am in a similar situation, and it's not a nice place to be.

I wish you all the very best, and I hope to read your good news very soon.

Barren of Birmingham, England