Monday, March 12, 2007


There has been a lot of talk about hope around here lately.

After reading The Town Criers post on holding hope I haven't stopped thinking about it. I have talked about it with many friends. Today I was reminded of it again.

I have come to a place where my hope is only slightly there. You know the kind of hope that makes you keep temping or making a wish on a star or birthday candles. The hope you give to others that really is only a kind gesture at times. But not the HUGE hope that is needed to make your world fall apart if it doesn't happen.

I have been moving around in a very surface way. I know that my due date is approaching. I try not to think about it because I know what it will do to me. My IUI is coming up as well around the same time. We are putting out just a little bit of money for this one. Of course Grumps doesn't like that the money goes out even if we get something in return. I don't want to have HUGE hope. I just want to have little hope like a balloon flying in the air. I know that the balloon will not stay blown up forever. I even know that there is a chance it could fly away right from my fingers. That is the kind of hope I have right now.

I have decided to give my HUGE hope to my friends. D is holding it right now. I gave it to her for safe keeping. I am holding hers. Right now she is using my HUGE hope towards this current cycle I am in. My HUGE hope is believing that I am pregnant right now without even having to do my IUI. I can't think that. D is thinking it for me. I laugh every time she brings it up. See I gave her that HUGE hope for a reason. She holds it well.

Who is holding your HUGE hope for safe keeping? Or are you holding someone else's because it is easier than holding your own?


Curly Mommy said...

Interesting concept. I love it! I think I am holding a Huge hope for you, and my friend J.

This morning I started Lesson 3 in "Stepping Out of Denial into God's Grace." This lesson is about HOPE!

laura said...

What a very cool idea, giving your hope to someone else for safekeeping. I know I get tired out, hoping for one thing over and over. I bet some fresh hope, from a new person, can be reinvigorating. Honestly, I hang on to my own hopes pretty tightly. If I pass them along to anyone, it is my husband and my mother.

PCOSMama said...

I agree, that's a great idea to share hope. It's so much easier to remain hopeful for someone else - it seems our own hope always gives out when we really need it.

The Town Criers said...

Oooh--I love that image of a little balloon of hope. Just bobbing above your head.

GLouise said...

My parents are holding out tremendous hope for me.

And I am holding hope for friends...including you!

Nikole said...

I love this post - simply beautiful. I'm holding your hope for you too.