Monday, March 12, 2007

HUGE Hope

There has been a lot of talk about hope around here lately.

After reading The Town Criers post on holding hope I haven't stopped thinking about it. I have talked about it with many friends. Today I was reminded of it again.

I have come to a place where my hope is only slightly there. You know the kind of hope that makes you keep temping or making a wish on a star or birthday candles. The hope you give to others that really is only a kind gesture at times. But not the HUGE hope that is needed to make your world fall apart if it doesn't happen.

I have been moving around in a very surface way. I know that my due date is approaching. I try not to think about it because I know what it will do to me. My IUI is coming up as well around the same time. We are putting out just a little bit of money for this one. Of course Grumps doesn't like that the money goes out even if we get something in return. I don't want to have HUGE hope. I just want to have little hope like a balloon flying in the air. I know that the balloon will not stay blown up forever. I even know that there is a chance it could fly away right from my fingers. That is the kind of hope I have right now.

I have decided to give my HUGE hope to my friends. D is holding it right now. I gave it to her for safe keeping. I am holding hers. Right now she is using my HUGE hope towards this current cycle I am in. My HUGE hope is believing that I am pregnant right now without even having to do my IUI. I can't think that. D is thinking it for me. I laugh every time she brings it up. See I gave her that HUGE hope for a reason. She holds it well.

Who is holding your HUGE hope for safe keeping? Or are you holding someone else's because it is easier than holding your own?

6 comments:

Curly Mommy said...

Interesting concept. I love it! I think I am holding a Huge hope for you, and my friend J.

This morning I started Lesson 3 in "Stepping Out of Denial into God's Grace." This lesson is about HOPE!

laura said...

What a very cool idea, giving your hope to someone else for safekeeping. I know I get tired out, hoping for one thing over and over. I bet some fresh hope, from a new person, can be reinvigorating. Honestly, I hang on to my own hopes pretty tightly. If I pass them along to anyone, it is my husband and my mother.

PCOSMama said...

I agree, that's a great idea to share hope. It's so much easier to remain hopeful for someone else - it seems our own hope always gives out when we really need it.

The Town Criers said...

Oooh--I love that image of a little balloon of hope. Just bobbing above your head.

GLouise said...

My parents are holding out tremendous hope for me.

And I am holding hope for friends...including you!

Nikole said...

I love this post - simply beautiful. I'm holding your hope for you too.

xo