Wednesday, September 13, 2006

The Biggest Fake

Man am I the biggest fake ever or what?

I know how to put the biggest smile on.

I have the "Yeah, Congratulations!" down pat!

I can make everyone think that I am just fine.

But when I get behind closed doors or in my car or in bed in the dark I fall apart.

I had one of those Fake Moments first thing this morning. One of my only good friends at work pulled me into my classroom before school started. I thought I had hurt her feelings or something from the way she looked at me. Then she started to tell me that she is pregnant.

I should have one an Academy Award. I was so good and putting on the fake. I told her that I was in a good place and would be fine. She cried. I hugged her and didn't even shed a tear. THAT is how good I am. She is 2 months pregnant, due in April, the month after me.

I received this wonderful news right before the kids came in. What great news to have hanging over your head all day. I didn't really let it sink in until my drive home after Back to School Night. I cried. I let the fake take a break.

I even faked it through her saying, "Yes it is a little early to be telling people and my son, BUT I have had 2 successful pregnancies without any problems. I am pretty sure that this will be just perfect. I don't ever have any problems." THANK GOD my kids starting coming in and I am not a person who takes things to heart like that.

But it did sting for just a minute as she left.

The pregnant girl on my team hasn't shut up a bit about her joy, boobs, belly, back, emotions, hunger, head, YOU NAME IT! Including baby. I fake it so well that she actually thinks I enjoy being a part of those conversations.

Anyone else want to join the BIGGEST FAKERS CLUB? We could have tshirts made!


Sarah said...

I am IN!!

kell said...

I could join that club in a minute. Its so easy for me to say how wonderful it is to adopt and how wonderful it will be for me to never get m/s or to never have my boobs become engourged, etc. But to tell the God's honest truth, I WANT ALL that. I feel robbed and for those women that havent had to experience what we have, they just dont get it and never will.

I wear a size small and I will take it in any color. ;-)

Sunny said...

We should go on Oprah with our tshirts. Maybe we could get some free gifts!