Talk

Today and I guess yesterday I really talked 'pregnant talk' with the pregnant girl on my team. I guess I have moved on a bit or at least disconnected myself with it all.

She is at 16weeks and really isn't showing. She is still wearing her old clothes. Today I saw her belly do a little pop at the end of the day but still. I look bigger than she does. At 8 weeks I really looked bigger and I am not that big. She is not that little either.

She is all worried. I tried to calm her fears. Of course bad thoughts were running through my head. SO BAD! She goes in for a check up next week. I thought it was for today. I told her this morning that I was praying for her. She has been on my mind. I would hate for her to have to go through a miscarriage. It truly is hell.

She wouldn't shut up about being pregnant and all that jazz today. She kept saying, "You know what I mean." Then she all of a sudden realized my situation. She knew it before but it finally hit. She felt awful. She kept apologizing. I told her that there wasn't a need for that. I was in a good place. Of course afterwards, while at home feeling sorry for myself, I hated her.

It is just really weird talking about what it feels like being pregnant when I am not anymore. Weird.

*Oh Grumps and I did the deed this weekend. It was good ole drunk sex. I was positive that Aunt Flow was on her way. Guess what? I oed the next day. WHAT THE HECK? Fingers crossed all is well no matter the outcome in a couple of weeks. Trying not to worry.