My First Outing

Today was my first outing out of the house besides going to K's for pizza night. I had a dentist appointment. I told them when they called to remind me that I had a 'procedure' on Monday and would it still be okay to come. I caught the receptionist off guard with, "I had a miscarriage yesterday."

So I went. I didn't want to talk. I just wanted my teeth cleaned and to be done with it. My head, back and belly still hurt. I am in no place to talk to strangers. But guess what she asked me?

Are you pregnant? Or just had a baby?

HA! I said, "Nope, I just had a miscarriage." She felt like crap and tried really hard to backpedal out of that one. She saw Prenatal vitamins on my little form. She just assumed.

She tried to cover her tracks with "Well it seems that the percentage is pretty high for miscarriages." I am not sure if that was an attempt to make me feel better. I was fighting for my life not to let tears stream down my face. She then asked how far along I was. I really thought by now that she would have just dropped it.

8 weeks

"Wow!" Was her response.

"Do you have any children?" Was her next question.

Nope.

"I just thought that maybe you had other children."

Nope.

The conversation moved on to my haircut and color. It moved onto my gums and flossing. It moved on to 3 cavities. But in my head it was still there. I had a miscarriage. I was 8 weeks. Last week I was pregnant. This week I am not.

Guess what? I don't want to leave my house again. Stuff like this comes up in conversation all the time. It was so much easier saying, "My husband and I don't have children. We are waiting on God. We have been trying for 3 1/2 years." But now what do you say?

I guess, "We are still waiting on our little miracle."